Ozzy wasn’t from this world. Yesterday, he went back to his own.

Ozzy Osbourne has died. We read it and it still feels surreal. The Prince of Darkness left us on July 22nd, 2025 — just weeks after his final, emotional farewell concert. His legacy in metal is unquestionable: he founded Black Sabbath, redefined musical darkness, and later, as a solo act, became both a terrifying and oddly lovable cartoon of himself.But if Ozzy taught us anything — besides the fact that you can have a 50-year music career without ever finishing a coherent sentence — it’s that madness is not only survivable… it’s also profitable.

So instead of crying over boring biographies and solemn quotes, here’s our tribute:Some Ozzy stories that sound like clickbait — but actually happened.

PS: No, we’re *not* going to talk about the bat or the dove. You’ve read it 800 times since yesterday, and your whole damn life. Yes, he bit things. It happened.

Moving on.

1. He pissed on the Alamo and got banned from Texas for 10 years.And he did it wearing Sharon’s dress.

2. He shot up his own chicken coop wearing a bathrobe and slippers.One morning, Ozzy walked into his garden in full bathrobe mode, shotgun in hand, and started blasting his own chickens.The cops showed up. He just said: “They were too damn loud.”

3. When a hotel banned him from using the pool, he bought a kiddie one.He set it up in his suite, filled it with champagne, and jumped in like Caligula on tour in Florida.

4. He believed gnomes were spying on him through mirrors.At the height of his… chemically-expanded mind, Ozzy was convinced little gnomes lived in his mirrors.He installed microphones to catch them talking.Didn’t hear anything — but left them food, «just in case.”Urban legend or psychedelic meltdown? We’ll never know.

5. He mistook a fan’s hoodie for a bat.During a show, Ozzy tried to bite the neck of a fan dressed as Batman. Didn’t work. Hoodie: 1. Ozzy: 0.

6. The most paranoid drug raid in rock history.Sometime in the ’70s. On tour. Rented house. Drugs *everywhere*.The police knock. Ozzy and crew go into full panic: LSD out the window, hash in the piano, cocaine down the toilet.Ozzy? He tries to *eat* an entire bag.Miraculously, the cops find nothing. Possibly because the drugs were already in his bloodstream.

7. He snorted ants.Poolside with Mötley Crüe. A contest to see who could be dumber.Ozzy kneels, snorts a line of live ants.Then drinks his own pee.There’s no trophy for that.

8. DIY tattoo: O-Z-Z-Y with a guitar string.At 16, Ozzy tattooed “O-Z-Z-Y” across his knuckles using a guitar string and some ink.Still there today: shaky, ugly, iconic.The inked equivalent of recording an album in your bathroom (see point 14).

9. The stray cat that attacked him in the shower.He adopted a cat he claimed had “wise eyes.”Three days later, the cat jumped into the shower and clawed his chest like it was summoning Satan.Instead of kicking it out, he named it *Bastard* and made it family.Soft heart, shredded ribs.

10. He mistook hair removal wax for jam.One night, Ozzy spread what he *thought* was jam on toast.Ate it.It was wax.His review?“Tasted funny.”Then he carried on with his day.

11. He headbutted a popcorn machine and knocked himself out.The snack machine wouldn’t deliver.Ozzy — problem solver — headbutts it. Passes out.When he woke up, he said:“I’m not hungry anymore.”Peace achieved.

12. He spent three days convinced he was dead.After a massive overdose, Ozzy lay motionless for 72 hours.When he finally spoke, the first thing he said was:“I’m dead. I don’t know if this is hell or Kansas.”Plot twist: they *were* in Kansas.

13. He recorded vocals from the bathroom because it had better acoustics.During *No More Tears*, Ozzy insisted the bathroom had better echo than the studio.They set up mics.Sharon locked the door so he wouldn’t escape.Some legendary screams were born… right from the toilet seat.

14. He threw a frozen ham at Lemmy to make him leave.Lemmy stayed at Ozzy’s house for days, drinking and refusing to leave.Ozzy, fed up, hurled a frozen ham at him from the top of the stairs.Lemmy left.Returned two days later. With more beer.

15. He thought the toaster was insulting him.During *The Osbournes* reality show, Ozzy started yelling that the toaster was calling him “idiot.”It was the microwave beeping.Still, he apologized to the toaster.Domestic chaos royalty.

The end of the Prince. The beginning of the legend Ozzy is gone. But what he gave us will never leave.

Black Sabbath invented metal. Ozzy gave it a face, a soul, and a fever dream.He sang like no one else, screamed like we all wanted to, lived like no one should — and somehow survived it all.He was proof that excess can have heart. That chaos can create beauty.

Most outlets today will list his records, tours, and awards.We leave you this instead:A pile of insane stories no one will ever repeat.Because there never was — and never will be — another Ozzy.

A man who didn’t just bite a bat on stage (though we’re skipping that story today), but bit into *life* itself — without asking if it was cooked through.Rest however you can, Ozzy.