Metal Covers: Naked Women and Other Archaic Traditions
Ah, metal album covers! That wonderful corner of art where stale clichés refuse to die, clinging desperately to the past. If you’ve ever had the «privilege» of admiring one of these testosterone-fueled masterpieces, you’ve probably felt that subtle sensation of being trapped at a convention of hormone-driven warriors and male fantasies. Because, of course, how could we miss the indispensable half-naked woman, bowing at the feet of the ultra-muscular hero, as if her highest aspiration in life were to admire, submissive, passive, the guy with the sword? How poetic!
In the 21st century, where humanity has achieved remarkable progress, we’re still stuck in this brilliant Stone Age tradition. «Machismo and Friends,» heavy metal edition, is still on air. What a surprise. What for many is an iconic image of the genre, for others smells like mothballs. But, of course, who would dare to break the sacred iconography of the glorious ’80s? There it is, in all its splendor: the impossibly ripped warrior, sword raised to the sky, while at his feet is a woman who doesn’t seem sure if she’s there by mistake or if she’s being paid to pose without clothes. What message could this masterpiece be sending? Spoiler: it’s not the glorification of equality.
But let’s not kid ourselves, this isn’t some artistic accident. It’s the relic of decades of unapologetic, blatant objectification. From time immemorial, women have been portrayed as the perfect decoration for any narrative of male power. And, of course, if a woman appears on a metal cover, it’s because her sole function in life is to be a trophy, a kind of living poster that says, «I’m inferior, and I love it.» But hey, it’s not all metal’s fault, right? Art has been pulling this trick for centuries. Renaissance, Baroque, metal… The soundtrack changes, but the mentality, oh no, that remains exactly the same.
Metal covers are not just a visual feast of clichés; they’re also a window into a mentality that resists progress with an almost enviable passion. Rebellion, you say? Sure, as long as that rebellion doesn’t touch the sacred image of women as accessories to the hero’s virility. It’s as if metal, with all its fame for breaking rules, got stuck in a time loop where gender equality is as remote a concept as a reggaeton album at a black metal festival.
And before someone throws out the disclaimer of “not all covers are like that,” yes, we know. Not all. Some are just skulls, dragons, or a bloody dude screaming into the void. But when you see this parade of stale imagery over and over again, the conclusion is inevitable: something is rotten in the kingdom of metal. What a shocker that a genre claiming to be so countercultural clings so tightly to clichés that should be gathering dust in a museum!
The irony is that metal prides itself on being the champion of subversion, but when was the last time it really subverted anything? Maybe it’s time for the genre to stop recycling the same old tropes of muscle-bound macho men and damsels in distress. How about, for once, we stop representing women as living trophies? What if we gave them some real agency, as if they were human beings, not epic fantasy garnishes to stroke the male ego? But of course, that would be asking for the moon, or worse, suggesting that metal, this genre that prides itself on not following rules, might be stuck in its own ridiculous set of them.
In short: Dear metal, it’s time to wake up from the aesthetic and moral coma you’ve been in for decades. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, seeing a woman on a cover who isn’t reduced to a sex object might be the jolt you need to become truly rebellious again. Because, spoiler: the real subversion would be to stop treating women as decorations for your macho fantasies and start seeing them for what they are: protagonists in their own right.
