The Curious Case of the Metal Bros and Their Unsolicited Approval

Within the fascinating and sometimes bewildering world of metal, there exists a peculiar breed easily identified by their black t-shirts (probably of a band whose logo looks like a pile of tangled branches or an ’80s sci-fi movie), their stern expert pose, and their unstoppable need to validate us. Who are they? The Metal Bros, those men who feel the obligation to give us their blessing, approval, or worse, their polite disagreement when we dare to voice an opinion about a metal band.

Imagine the scene: you’re at a bar, your favorite band is about to play, and while you’re chatting with your friends about the latest Sabïre album, the Metal Bro of the moment shows up. With the conviction of a messiah here to save you from your musical ignorance, he leans toward you and asks with a raised eyebrow: «Do you really like Sabïre? But have you listened to their first album? Now that is real metal.»

Poor thing, in his innocence, he doesn’t understand that you’re not there for his approval. No, seriously. You didn’t ask for it. But there he is, pouring out his wisdom as if you were a pagan in need of enlightenment on the dark and brutal path of metal.

Why Do They Do It?

Ah, the million-dollar question. The reason behind this behavior has deep roots in patriarchy and cultural machismo that, surprise, don’t disappear when you add two distorted guitars and a double bass drum. Traditionally, metal has been a male-dominated space, where the presence of women (and other minorities) has been constantly questioned, sexualized, or, as in this case, condescendingly approved.

Metal as a Microcosm of Patriarchy

The «Metal Bro» phenomenon is just a manifestation within a patriarchal microcosm that reflects the same power structures found in society at large. Patriarchy, which holds that men are the legitimate bearers of knowledge and, therefore, the only ones authorized to impart it, materializes in these spaces where men take on the role of guardians of a culture they consider theirs by right. In this case, the culture is metal, and the knowledge they believe they possess gives them a sense of power that is challenged by the presence of women.

This behavior is based on the deeply ingrained belief that women need male validation for their interests and opinions to be legitimate. It’s an extension of the control men exert over access to and participation in any cultural space, where their knowledge becomes a tool of domination.

Mansplaining as a Tool of Control

Mansplaining, that universal phenomenon where a man condescendingly explains something to a woman, is alive and well among the Metal Bros. To them, metal isn’t just music; it’s a lifestyle, an identity, and what better way to affirm it than by questioning anyone who dares to share their passion without passing through their rigorous filter.

This behavior pattern isn’t just a matter of ignorance or misunderstanding, but a conscious or unconscious strategy to reaffirm their position of power. By correcting or questioning a woman in these contexts, the Metal Bro isn’t just trying to demonstrate his superiority, but also to reestablish the traditional gender order, where authority and knowledge are male prerogatives. Thus, mansplaining in the metal scene functions as an exclusion mechanism that attempts to dissuade women from fully participating in metal culture.

Male Insecurity and the Threat of Female Competition

But let’s be honest, there’s also a touch of insecurity in this attitude. The Metal Bro needs to ensure that his territory is safe, that he’s still the alpha male in the group, and that his knowledge is, of course, superior. Somehow, our mere presence in these spaces is a threat. Because if we know as much as they do, or worse, more than they do, where does their power lie?

This kind of behavior can also be interpreted as a defensive reaction to the advancement of women in spheres that have historically been male-dominated. The growing visibility and female competition in the metal scene call into question male hegemony, provoking some men to feel the need to reaffirm their status by delegitimizing female presence. Thus, unsolicited approval acts as a symbolic barrier that attempts to protect a space they feel is being taken from them.

How to Handle the Situation

So, how do you respond to the Metal Bro’s unsolicited blessing? Here are some strategies:

• The Iron Sergeant: Reply with such a strong and technical fact that it leaves him speechless. «Oh really? I thought the tempo change in the second guitar solo was an obvious nod to Stravinsky’s influence on the post-metal scene.» Here, you risk a lost stare and maybe a «Well, yeah, sure…» as he tries not to drown in his own confusion.
• The Philosopher: Ask with all seriousness: «Why do you feel the need to validate my tastes? Is it perhaps a reflection of the patriarchal society that has taught us that women need male approval to enjoy our hobbies?» This tactic is often effective, especially if you accompany it with an inquisitive look.
• The Comedian: Respond with humor and sarcasm: «Thanks for your approval, I don’t know what I would’ve done without it. Now I can finally sleep in peace knowing my musical taste is valid.» Sometimes, laughing at the situation is the most liberating thing.
• The Ruthless Headbanger: Just ignore him and get back to enjoying the concert because honestly, who needs that energy? Grab your air guitar and keep giving it all in the mosh pit.

The Future of Metal is Inclusive

But it’s not all doom and gloom. While Metal Bros are a reality, so is the growing number of women, non-binary people, and other minorities who are taking control of their spaces within the metal scene. Female-led bands and the visibility of non-binary and queer musicians are proving that metal isn’t owned by anyone, least of all the gatekeepers of orthodoxy.

Metal has always been and will always be a music of resistance, of rebellion against the system. It’s ironic, then, that within such a countercultural genre, such archaic and conservative attitudes persist. But that’s where the magic lies: the resistance also comes from within, and those of us who believe in a more inclusive, diverse, and condescension-free scene will continue fighting, with our patch-filled vests and our unfiltered opinions.

Final Reflection: Patriarchy in the Metal Scene

In conclusion, dear Metal Bros, if you really want to be true, let go of the need to approve or validate our tastes. Because metal, like life, is more fun when everyone, regardless of gender, orientation, or identity, can enjoy it without being judged. And yes, you can still be brutal without being condescending. Keep it metal, but with a bit more equality, don’t you think?

And now, back to rocking.